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Do I Have To Be a Good Mom? Mommy Confessions!

September 26, 2012

I guess a better question would be “Why do we try to be a good mom?” In most cases I think we do it more for the sake of “looking like” a good mom! We want to impress other moms. We live in a society where we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone else. As much as I would like to say that I don’t care what other people think, I do! That’s why I make Amber comb her hair twice in the morning. She is a reflection of my mothering skills. I often times say things like “I don’t want your teacher thinking I don’t take care of you”.

I have spent many days making cupcakes for Amber’s class. Yes, I want Amber to feel special and like she is contributing to her class. But I didn’t spend hours drawing little cupids on them and filling them with a custard filling made from scratch for that reason. I wanted to impress her teacher.

Mommy Confession: Now that Amber is in Junior High, I am glad I don’t have to make perfect cupcakes for her class. I enjoy baking very much and will continue to bake cupcakes. However, I don’t have to worry about how cute they are or what anyone will think.

I breastfed Amber until she self weaned at about 14 months. At the time I was only 18 and hadn’t yet started comparing myself to other moms. I was too young to really socialize with other moms. I really was at a point where I was just trying to prove to my family that I could do it! My decision for breastfeeding at the time was more for lack of funds. Breast milk was free and I was only 17 when she was born. My mom didn’t breastfeed any of us and there was really nobody pushing me to do it.  With Charlotte (10 years later) I felt more social pressure to breastfeed longer. Blogging about breastfeeding and talking with other moms made me feel like the longer I did, the better a mom I was. There are a lot of forums and groups where we all talk about how long we breastfed. It seems innocent enough and we are really there to support each other but there is the background feeling that we are bragging about the longevity of our breastfeeding efforts.

Mommy Confession: When we found out we are pregnant again, I was still breastfeeding Charlotte at 18 months. I enjoyed nursing her very much. It helped her fall asleep at night and kept her from needing a pacifier. It was a wonderful bonding time that only her and I shared. My OB/GYN said to stop breastfeeding her. I know all about tandem nursing and that I really didn’t NEED to stop, but I did. Having the doctor tell me to stop was an excuse I could use to make myself feel like I wasn’t a bad mom for stopping.

Here are more of my mommy confessions:

  • When Charlotte falls asleep in her high chair I don’t take her out because I know she will wake up.
  • Amber usually gets herself completely ready for school and wakes me when its almost time to leave.
  • Baby First TV is on all day in my living room.

What are your mommy confessions?

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. September 26, 2012 12:39 pm

    Pictures of my second child were sparse to say the least…the camera crazy mom in me had been worn out after the first one.

  2. September 26, 2012 1:07 pm

    When Jake has a cold and has conned a slightly dodgy day off sick and by the afternoon is bouncing off the walls I might see how he goes minus calpol. often its back to the sofa watching movies but not complaining of pain or anything. I am not that mean..

  3. September 26, 2012 2:36 pm

    sometimes Sprout is on my TV all day and somedays we stay in our pjs bc i haven’t done laundry

  4. September 26, 2012 3:06 pm

    Great post, Melissa! I’m a fan of those channels too and actually my daughter has gotten a lot out of watching PBS and Dora–nothing wrong with TV when mom needs a break or to get housework done!

  5. reelmama permalink
    September 26, 2012 3:07 pm

    Great post, Melissa! I’m a fan of those channels too and actually my daughter has gotten a lot out of watching PBS and Dora. Nothing wrong with TV when mom needs a break or to get housework done!

  6. September 26, 2012 5:45 pm

    Oh god I have too many to list… TV is pretty much on non stop. Sometimes I hand my 3-year-old the ipod just to get a few moments to myself. I waited to potty train until my son was 3 because I didnt want to fight him…. so many more

  7. September 26, 2012 6:59 pm

    Loved this post..here is my confession and I feel like the worst mommy in the world. 😦 My 8th grade daughter was trying to talk to me about her yearbook quote and I snapped at her because I was on a deadline to get a review up on my blog. In all my time as a blogger had I never put my blogging before my child..tonight I did. 😦

  8. September 27, 2012 9:48 am

    We have our third episode of Sesame Street on this morning. I’m just not in the mood to argue over anything this morning. 😛

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